Why, in my opinion, 'Serious Relationships' SUCK

#10. Ever had any guys, who call themselves your boyfriend but at the same time, instead of pampering, they insult you worse than a member of their own breed when you get a fact wrong? I've had. ENOUGH of them.

#9. The perfect couple is supposed to have all the aspects of relationships - best friends, lover, bla bla. I don't really mind being treated like a 'bro' most of the time, but I draw a line being punched, especially in the time of the month when I'm feeling down, cranky, fatigued, and frankly too tired to punch the guy back.

#8. His mother knows who you are and what relationship you have with her son within six months into the relationship and starts giving you I WILL CHEW YOU ALIVE AND SPIT YOU OUT vibe. Nice knowing you too, Potential Mom-In-Law.

#7. The obligations and the strings that come with a relationship are, most of the time, just not worth it.Gifts (receiving them is much more fun than the headache of choosing the perfect one for him), the routine declarations of love (even at times you don't mean it one iota).

#6. I've had guys who've split bills with me. They're not as bad as the ones I ended up footing the whole bill for. I regret that now, because they were scum-bags and I could have just pigged out on chocolates with the money.

#5. I've inconsiderate bastards who are so intent on getting their own rocks off that they don't give two shits about whether or not you've climaxed, too. No big loss there.

#4. Ever checked out eye-catching hunks and their forelimbs and then felt guilty about about it later on? Happens everyday with me.

#3. What really pisses me off is that they think they can demand to know my location and who I'm with (more emphasis on the latter) whenever they want. Hire a PI if you're so 'concerned'.

#2. Frankly, I believe there is no better feeling than breathing fresh air and buying chocolates you don't have to share.

#1. Listen to Pussycat Dolls' I Don't Need A Man, buy a tub of chocolate ice cream and share it with your dogs (On the other hand, don't give them chocolate, though), because they are way better than some of the scum-bags you've had the misfortune of dating.

Tragic Tattoos

1. DARE

2. PLAY

3. F*** (I'm sure it's simple enough to interpret)

4. HURL

All those four lettered words are inked into the knuckles of four different guys in my school, using fabric paints, blades or geometry compasses, undertaking a number of risks - infections, septicemia and maybe even cancer. What's even funnier is the fact that they can easily scratch the letters out using a blade. Ain't that masochistic.

Moreover, these words sound like catch-phrases of cheap sports brands. DARE YOU. PLAY YOU. F*** YOU. I HURL. Might as well have had PUKE tattooed on instead.

Homemade tattoos are infinitely cheaper than the professional ones, and infinitely riskier. 

Other homemade designs include random tribal designs and Chinese letters no one seems to understand (including the one sporting it). Sym, one of the inked clique in my school, has a rose tacked to his name on the left forearm, something incomprehensible on his knuckles, and the star attraction, a portrait of his mother on his upper arm. While I've never really seen his mother, the portrait is impressively lifelike (even though Mom doesn't have ears in it). However, I'm missing the whole purpose of undergoing an expensive, under-the-needle procedure for someone he doesn't even really respect. Maybe, if he has siblings, it might prove useful someday in a property dispute. 'Mere paas Maa hai'.

Two of my female friends have been under the needle too, for all the wrong reasons. They both got their (ex) boyfriends' names tattooed on their backs. Then they broke up. One's got Sunny in blue ink, while the other's got Nepal. Mistake, horrible mistake. I can't trust anyone to stay monogamous long enough to ink in their names. Their tattoos cost around 4000 (average), and if they have to remove them by laser treatment, it'll cost them at least around six times the initial price. So they're stuck with two persons they'll have a hard time forgetting. Even though they might choose not to look at their backs in the mirror (highly unlikely), anyone spending time over there will ask them, Who's Sunny? and Why do you like Nepal so much?

My sister got the name of our late, great Labrador retriever, Dolce onto the side of her wrist. This, I concede, wasn't such a bad idea seeing as Dolce never dumped anyone, was faithful to us until his last breath, and was done in a professional, aseptic environment.